Fashion, Layers of Jenn, Lifestyle

Recognizing Your Self Worth

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She stares off into the distance and her mind begins to wander. She begins to realize the magnitude of the world around her. She is but a grain of sand. So small, so minute.  She constantly believed that the world would move on regardless. That her existence didn’t matter. Here one day, gone the other. She went to bed and hoped for sweeter dreams, and woke up wishing the day would be over. She mastered the art of a smile, effortless and real except for that look in her eyes. The help-I’m-drowning look that people often overlooked and continued on with their lives. The voice that never traveled farther than the tip of her tongue. Silence, acceptance, destruction.


Who is that girl?

If you can relate to her in anyway, regardless of who you are, please take a step back and hear me out. Believe it or not, that girl was me. Keyword: was. I was once at a point in my life where I honestly felt like I brought zero value to the table. That anything I said or did amounted to a disappointment. I was miserable. I allowed people to step on my kindness, I took the pain in and believed I deserved it, I let people’s opinions and words define me. I lost any self-esteem and confidence I had. I lost any value I deemed myself. I lost me.

It’s extremely hard to believe that rock bottom was a place I once visited. I stayed there for a long time. A very, very long time. It was an extremely lonely, unbearable, and depressing point of my life. But as any event, things like that make us stronger. The best thing about rock bottom is that there’s no other direction but up. Of course, things like that don’t mend and heal over night. It takes time, patience, and practice. I’ve come such a long way from rock bottom and though it was a hard period to swallow, I don’t regret it. Sure, it was shitty. Real shitty. But every event, good or bad, shapes us to who we are today. If I didn’t have my great depression, I wouldn’t be here right now. I’ve found a place where I am comfortable with myself. Yes, I still have my off days – and I’m sure everybody does – but I’m doing just fine now. I’m happy.

I recognized my self worth. No one can take that away from me. Not even myself. It’s definitely hard. Nothing in life is ever easy, but the result will repay you in ten-fold.

What does it mean to value oneself?

Well, my take on it is that you love yourself whole heartedly, flaws and all. There will times where you don’t like yourself, and that’s fine – I’m with you on that sometimes, but you should always love yourself. Believing in yourself is also extremely important. It’s true that if you put your mind to it, you can accomplish the impossible. It all begins with belief. If you believe in yourself, you will be unstoppable.

What’s next?

Once you love you and believe in you, you basically have the formula to make you invincible. The rest is all up to you. With self love and appreciation, comes self worth. Confidence, happiness, and power all follows. If you believe you can do something, go for it. There will be people hating, throwing negative shade your way. Don’t let it get to you. Embrace it. You’re doing something right. Hate is just jealousy and insecurity.

Don’t ever feel like what you bring isn’t good enough.

As long as you try your best, you honestly have nothing to worry about. Put that inner self-critic to rest. Everyone has their limit, comfort zone, and pace. There’s no sense in comparing your product to someone else’s. You do you, boo boo.

Smile more, especially in the mirror.

How does this help? Smiling makes you feel good. You release endorphins that up your dopamine levels. It makes you happier and lightens your mood. Plus, the best image you’d want to have of yourself is you being happy. And smiles are contagious, so spread that love!

What has helped me on my journey of realization?

Support from friends and family is a huge one. Talk to someone about it. You’re never alone. If that doesn’t fancy you, find an outlet. What did I do? I wrote. I wrote songs and poems and just pages and pages of stuff. It really helped me get through a lot of the shittier days. Sometimes I still look back and reread them. The emotion rooted in each word is explosive. Blast music. Surround yourself with noise to dilute some of your own. Run. I used to go on runs with music blaring. It helped me so, so much. Scream a little, if that helps too. I screamed into pillows or just screamed out loud into the night. Yeah, sometimes I got weird looks, but it felt absolutely liberating to release just even an inch of the weight I’ve been carrying.

A thing that really helped me too was my jar of positivity. I sat one day and devoted a few hours of my time to write positive messages to myself. I wrote them on paper and folded them up and placed them in a cup (so I never really had a jar, per say). Every time I felt sad, I would reach in and grab a note. That always helped pick me up, even if it was only a little or even just temporarily.

I don’t have all the answers, but I do have my own experiences, ears to listen, and a voice to give advice. If any of you out there feel like no one gets it, please feel free to give me a shot. Just like you all are here for me and supporting me, I would definitely like to do the same for all of you! Send me an email. I’m all ears.

You are never alone.
No one ever deserves pain. Ever.
You are beautiful.
You ARE worth it. Never settle for anything less.

sfmgqg9

Outfit Details:
Zara Denim OTS Dress | JustFab Lace Up Sandals

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35 comments

  2. Absolutely LOVE this post! Not only are the photos so beautiful, but your words are as well. I am grateful for the struggles, the losses, the heartbreaks, because as you said, they shaped us and made us stronger. We definitely have to learn to love ourselves to truly be happy. Thank you for getting so personal and sharing this. xoxo, Christine
    http://dailykongfidence.com/

    Reply

  3. One thing I love about you and your post are the authenticity. This post was beautiful because it showed that not only are you amazing, you are also very real. I couldn’t be more proud to be a follower!

    Reply

  5. I love how open you are! This is one of the best blog posts I have read. Thank you for being so open and honest. It takes a lot of courage. And you are right, love is what it comes down to. Finding love over all of those fears and voices which tell you one negative thing and then another. It looks like you are and have worked really hard on finding your happiness.
    Thanks for sharing!!
    xx Jenelle
    http://www.inspiringwit.com

    Reply

  8. This is such a beautiful post, Jenn! I love how open you are in sharing your story, which is both relatable and inspiring. Today, it can be so hard for us to not point out every little flaw when everything we see around us seems to be so perfect. This is such a great reminder that we all feel like this from time to time, but that it’s important to remember that we’re unique and the only way we can accomplish anything is to first love and believe in ourselves. You look absolutely gorgeous this OTS dress and I love that lip color on you! Thanks again for sharing and I hope you’re having the most amazing week so far!

    XO,

    Jalisa
    http://www.thestylecontour.com

    Reply

    1. Aw, Jalisa! Thank you so much for reading and saying those sweet words! We all feel low sometime, but the best thing to do is to get back up and move forward 🙂 Hope you’re having an amazing week <3

      Reply

  14. I like your very personal message and I always like when somebody write the opinions on life too. This is very important for any blogger to show its soul and its general stand to the issues. When you come into my blog, you can find there such a posts too. Thats also the reason why I like your Blog. You remember me my post BE YOURSELF with your article where I encourage people to BE THEMSELF. This is what you mentioned in your article and this is the most important thing for living at all.
    Great post sweetie. 🙂
    Kisses
    Katharine-fashionisbeautiful

    Reply

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