Mind Over Matter | Confidence As A Weapon

Mind Over Matter: If you don’t mind, they don’t matter.

I’ve learned the hard way that trying to please everyone is not only an almost impossible task, it’s also super stressful and not worth the pain. Besides learning to pick and choose your battles, you should have the confidence in yourself to be okay with certain decisions. It’s okay to be selfish sometimes.

mind over matter


If you don’t already know, you can’t make everyone happy. So why put yourself through the extra torment and just focus on the people and things that matter most? Throw away the constant worry of trying to please everyone and spend more time being happy with yourself. If you recall from my previous post, you have to be OK with who you are, even if that means that someone else isn’t. All of this lies in your mind. Once you put yourself in the right mentality, things will get a little brighter.

mind over matter


The next crucial thing is figuring out what things matter. Emphasis on matter. Knit picking over trivial and mundane things is just a waste of time and time is precious. We never get enough of it, so seriously, use it wisely. Once you get rid of all the minute things that trouble your mind, you will be happier and less stressed out. This includes people too. Don’t continue to give people chances if they don’t make the effort. If someone wants to be a part of your life, they will so stop saving room for people who don’t even put in the effort to stay. Declutter your mind. Put yourself first.

mind over matter haters gon hate


Seriously, you will get haters no matter what. I used to be so hung up on this and worry about why doesn’t X like me? and ask myself things like what do I need to change? I’ve come to learn that there will always be someone sippin’ on that haterade. LET THEM! It means you’re doing something right and hate is just a translation of jealousy. Don’t ever stop being true to yourself because someone else doesn’t like you. You are you. So you should do you and let them do them. Don’t let them phase you.

mind over matter

Once again: Mind OVER Matter

It’s a cruel world and some people are just nasty to the core. Sock em where it hurts! You just need to grow a thicker skin and don’t take words to heart. You are stronger than you think you are. It might take some practice, and it’ll hurt like hell, but soon you’ll be brushing off the opinions and judgments of those that don’t matter. It’s all about confidence. Once you have that, you’ll crush it. And it’ll kill them to know that they no longer phase you. Take bullies for example, once you show them their words or actions have no impact, you take away all their power.

Confidence is a beautiful weapon.

with love jenn hanftGet the look:
H&M Black Turtleneck
H&M Navy Skirt
Steve Madden Mules
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  • Mariann Yip
    March 17, 2017

    I agree 100% with your post and I have learned to not take people or things too seriously. I focus on myself and avoid pleasing others because it’s like you said, you can’t please everybody!

  • Thomas Falkenstedt
    March 17, 2017

    It’s sometimes considered wrong to put yourself first, but when you think about it, that’s the most important thing out there. If you don’t put yourself you’re basically neglecting yourself and letting other people guide your actions, thoughts and impressions. Keep putting yourself first and stand tall on that piedestal! 🙂


    • Jenn Hanft
      April 2, 2017

      Yes!!! I have that dilemma all the time LOL. I think it’s within reason and moderation. Being 100% selfish won’t always get you far 🙂

  • Sharon Wu
    March 17, 2017

    Omg this post is seriously on point! I’ve learned over the past few years that it’s important to focus on yourself and not be distracted by what others might think because it’s as you said… if you don’t mind, they don’t matter! I think that it’s not necessarily selfish but rather healthy for your own well-being. It’s still possible to do good deeds in the world and be nice to people but it’s also important to be nice to yourself! Haha 🙂 It’s like what they say — you have to learn to love yourself before you love others… that concept, haha. <3 great post darling, and I really love your hair color! xo, sharon


    • Jenn Hanft
      April 2, 2017

      Thanks so much for reading! It’s definitely possible to do good deeds hehe. And yes, being good to yourself helps you achieve happiness even faster!! XO

  • Stephanie
    March 17, 2017

    One of the things I’ve learned is that sometimes it’s okay to hurt. Things people say or do or think about you will sting, and sometimes it’s okay to cry about it. But it’s also so necessary to then quit the sniffling, remind yourself that you’re a badass and you love yourself and it doesn’t matter what others think in the end. Allow yourself the pain but then allow yourself to heal! It’s so needed to move on!! Love this post girly and love YOU!

    • Jenn Hanft
      April 2, 2017

      You said it all girl!! Couldn’t have put it better.

  • Yasmin
    March 17, 2017

    Love this look and the belted skirt! It fits you to a t. When someone doesn’t like you, the rejection can be hard to swallow. You wonder why and what’s wrong with me? But with age you realize sometimes things don’t click and it’s not something you have to fix. Sometimes things improve with time. I find the best things happen when you don’t try.

    xx Yasmin

  • gracie
    March 17, 2017

    It is so important to be the best you can be, by surrounding yourself with positive people who lift you up. You look great in the all black !
    xx, gracie

  • Candace
    March 17, 2017

    You always have so much wisdom in your posts; it’s so inspiring! If only I had this to read in high school when I would get picked on and where I cared about what people thought of me. I would share this 100 times if I could. Keep crushing it babe! Your confidence really shows in everything you post 🙂


  • Jordan Chapman
    March 17, 2017

    Yes yes yes yes YES! This post is great and really does help! I needed this today, it’s so hard to just be happy and I needed to hear these words today!
    Jordan xx

  • Samantha Mariko
    March 18, 2017

    Your words really echo – I sort of recently just got out of a long relationship, and I finally realized how much I was trying to please him and it wasn’t making me happy. Now that I have more time for myself, I realize being selfish in the right ways like you say is important and is ok! I feel so much better these days 🙂 Hope you do too!

    • Jenn Hanft
      April 2, 2017

      Awww I’m glad they resonate with you! Yes, you should never feel the need to constantly appeal to others! Especially when it comes to relationships, it’s always a two way street 🙂

  • Josie
    March 20, 2017

    I could only agree 100%. There is nothing wrong on focusing on oneself. Sometimes, it is necessary and so much needed! I have learned to give so much importance to what people say or think about me. It has helped grow so much a just a few months. Life is too short to worry about what others think especially if it’s only negative feedbacks.
    You look so pretty in that skirt!!

    Bisous, Josie

    • Jenn Hanft
      April 2, 2017

      I completely agree! Once we realize what’s more important, we grow and definitely shed all that unnecessary weight of expectations!

  • julia
    March 20, 2017

    love your outfit!


  • marcy
    March 21, 2017

    Yes, well done said babe!!!! Love this post and the past years I always put everyone before me and I have learned the opposite.
    Worry of what people think is just a waste of time and life is to short to worry about that. We should just lived the maximum since we only have one:) You look stunning in all the pics


  • Deddeh Howard
    March 21, 2017

    Girl I think it’s a lesson that we all learned right. We have to pleased ourselves first, that’s the only way that will work. Your outfit is so cute.

    March 21, 2017

    Wow I really like this!! The end where you are talking about haters is so true. Not everyone will always like us. So important to just work on ourselves and love ourselves.


    • Jenn Hanft
      April 2, 2017

      Definitely! Self love and acceptance is the best thing to have.

  • rachel vogt
    March 21, 2017

    Yes, totally agree with what you’re saying. You can’t make others happen unless you’re yourself. Love this outfit.

  • Jo
    March 22, 2017

    You look so beautiful in this chic and sophisticated look! That skirt is gorgeous. Keep on doing you, girl, because you rock! Love this post on self-confidence. One of my favorite inspirational quotes is from Eleanor Roosevelt. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” I always think back to that quote when I start feeling a hint of self-doubt coming along.

    xo, Jo

    • Jenn Hanft
      April 2, 2017

      Hehe thanks, Jo! I love that quote!! I’m going to add it to my favorites. Thanks for sharing 🙂

  • Miki
    March 22, 2017

    First off, I love this outfit on you. That skirt is so pretty, and I am always prone to grabbing something that’s flowy! Great post. I always try to remember that at the end of the day, being happy is what counts and to just focus on what I want and eliminate the noise. At the end of the day, you can’t please everyone, and as you get bigger and better at anything you do in life, there will be many who will be happy for you and others who will not, and those people don’t matter anyways.


    • Jenn Hanft
      April 2, 2017

      Awww thanks, Miki! I totally agree. There will always be people rooting to see you fail, unfortunately. We just need to brush them off.

  • Caitlin | Beauty & Colour
    March 28, 2017

    Love your photos and the message of this post!

    Caitlin, Beauty & Colour

I Am What I Am and it’s OK
Mind Over Matter | Confidence As A Weapon