It will be hard. No one ever said life was easy.
I’m not a perfect person. I’ve come to terms with that a long time ago. So for everyone out there struggling with the image of perfection, STOP. You are perfect the way you are, flaws and ALL. We often forget that we are all human. We make mistakes. We fall. We break down. We fail. That’s life.
I’m dedicating this post to those who feel lost, who are struggling to find happiness, who feel stuck, and who really want to just throw in the towel. It’s an uphill battle, folks, but you are not alone. This one’s for you.
Honestly, I wish life had a rulebook or at least some type of guide because let me tell you, it has been such a roller coaster for me to get where I am today. Trust. But, I am so proud of myself and I just want you to know that whatever you’re going through, you’re never going through it alone. Someone out there in the sea of billions of specs is feeling your feels and going through the same, if not similar, life problems.
As you may have gathered from my past #LayersofJenn posts, I’ve learned so many things to help me grow and improve as a person. I’ve developed healthier habits, a more positive mindset, narrowed down my loving support system, and just developed a brand new sense of determination of who I want to be.
Look ma, I made it!
And it took a hell of a long time, but I’m finally at a place where I’m content, aware, and thriving. A very good friend of mine made me realize how much I love to coach others and provide support as well as advice. It’s actually one of the things I’m really good at. Offering a voice and lending a hand is one of my specialties and I’m not sure if it developed based on my passion to help others, or my insecurity leading me to focus less on myself and divert my energy into something else. It’s probably a mix of both, but I finally mastered to practice what I preach.
Nevertheless, it has become deeply rooted in who I am and I am truly grateful to be someone’s voice of reason or their go-to for when they’re in a funk. I resonate so much with that type of person because I wish I had the same support back then. I wish I had someone I can go to who will not only listen, but really get me.
Now I’m here, ready to help YOU!
They say that you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. It’s so true! A few years back, I desperately needed help but refused to ask for it out of fear that it was a sign of weakness. That decision really hurt me because going through a cycle of depression alone not only sucked, but it really wore me down into a spiral of no return. I now realize, and admit, that I need help and I should never feel ashamed to ask for it. If you bottle up your emotions, it will weigh you down and eventually break you. You should never have to get to that breaking point, but if you do, the only way left is up.
Denial is a real bish, but it gets the best of us. After you get over that hurdle and realize that the mentality that you can handle things all on your own is not working out, you have finally come to acceptance. The next step is to build. This is all about growth! Taking all of your experiences into light and working on improvement is the best thing you can do for yourself. It’s really taking the focus out of all the shit that happened and directing the emphasis to how this effects you going forward.
Life is too short to have regrets. Every experience is a part of who you are today, whether it be good or bad. Just like every person you meet has an impact on your life’s story. Taking what you learned and moving forward is what makes you a better version of you. Don’t lose sight of the bigger picture. Everyone is and always will be a work in progress.
How does one get over life’s obstacles?
Ah yes, the golden question. I’m not going to lie and say that I have the best solution. I don’t. Everyone is different, with different perspectives and ways of thinking. I can’t provide an answer to solve all problems. But what I can provide is some tips and advice on how you can possibly tackle your concerns:
w r i t e i t a l l o u t.
Get a note pad, journal, google doc – whatever your heart feels like and just pour out your feelings. This will a) help you let it out, b) help you let it go, and c) allow you to reflect and see what is truly bothering you right there on paper (or screen). You might be surprised to find what the root of your problems is. Then, if you really want to get into the mood of just letting go, burn the page. Watch it melt and disintegrate and hopefully that act will help you mentally get rid of what’s bothering you. Always practice safety though. Don’t go burning down your house, cause then we have another issue.
s e l f – h e l p b o o k s.
To be honest, I was never a fan of self-help books. It made me feel strange to invest money for someone else to tell me how to magically feel better and because they published a book about it, I’m supposed to trust their advice. I still throw a lot of shade to them, and they’re not my favorite, but there is value there. So many people have resonated and changed their ways of thinking because of self-help books. It may be the embarrassment of going to an actual person, so confiding with an inanimate object (a book) seems reasonable. Or it could be the mindset of hey, this person wrote a book about this AND it went viral so they must know what they’re talking about. Whatever it is, it opened people’s eyes to self-worth and discovery and that’s something to give notable credit to. The only book that I own that falls into this category is The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson. Give that a read!
s p e a k.
Whether this is to a friend, a family member, a therapist, your pet, or even yourself in the mirror, you should put your problems into words. This is the part where you don’t have to face things alone. Not only will it give you comfort, it will help release the built-up stress and emotions you’ve been holding back, AND it can provide you with insight based on another’s first-hand experiences. You’d be surprised how many people go through the same things. It’s weird.
a d o p t a p o s i t i v e m i n d s e t.
The more positive you are, the better you’ll feel. It makes no sense to dwell on the past because you can’t change. What you can change is how you let it affect you and what you do with it. To do better, you need to believe it. The most important person who should be rooting for you is you and all it really takes is you to make you better. You feel me? Don’t get in your own way of improving.
r e m e m b e r , a l l t h i n g s t a k e t i m e.
Rome wasn’t built over night and the seed doesn’t grow into a tree the next day. You can’t expect for things to go away when you blink an eye or for feelings to dissipate after reading a motivational quote. You have to allow for time to do its thing: heal you. Changes are gradual. I’m telling you, down the line you’ll look back and realize how far you’ve come. Don’t sabotage yourself and pull your hair out because things aren’t resolved asap. Life is a constant work in progress.
Hope this post provided some level of comfort and reassurance that things will get better. I’m no expert and I certainly do not have all my shit together, but I’m trying and I want to do my best to share any insight I have to anyone else who can relate. If ever you need someone to talk to, send me an email! I’d be more than happy to talk and help in any way I can.